Title: Tomorrow
Author: blackfrog66
Paring: Akame,  Jin/ Nishiyama Maki
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kame is alone in the last day of the year.
Disclaimer: None.
A/N :  940 words. Kame’s POV. We all know who the person called ‘he’ in the story is. Sorry for bringing an angst story in the early days of New Year. I can’t help it when everyone is out of the town and I’m alone at home at 11:55pm with Tomorrow of Avril Lavign playing in my Winamp (I can’t say that it’s a song-fic but the song inspires me a lot) As usual, un-betaed so please forgive my suck grammar, poor vocabulary and lame choices of words T____T    English isn’t my national language, anyway.

And happy new year everyone!

I don't even know why I even made banners for it, may be I'm too free XD

 




***


You think that you will be ok eventually, but you also know that you are still hurt today.
You think that things will fix themselves after all, but you also know that you mess things up again.
You think that he will come back to you, but you also know that you and him can’t come back to each other.
You think that you will give up your love, but you also know that you can’t give up your hope.
You think that one day, you won’t be alone.
But you also know that you’re still lonely today.

And you think that it’s not too late for tomorrow to get over all these things.
And you know that you are not ready for it yet. Not today.

***


There goes your routine. You get up early in the morning, quit breakfast and drown yourself in work so that you don’t have to think about yourself. You will finish all the shooting and stuff around late night and go home.’ Home’, the words somehow sounds not so familiar to you. If you can name your lonely apartment with empty spaces, then ‘home’ isn’t a good choice.  You remember the best definition of home, ‘home’ always contains good memories of family sitting around the table enjoying hot and delicious dinner, daddy and the kids praise the mommy’s cooking and they have a cozy evening watching stupid sitcoms with lame jokes, and when it gets late the parents urge the kids to go to bed.
Or good memories of young lovers get home late after practices and filming, have fast food as dinner and cuddle in each other’s warmth in bed finally.

You still call your apartment ‘home’ after all. Just to hope that one day it will fit your right definition.

There is also a routine of drinking late. Your fridge is always empty but the liquor container is always full. May be you just want to practice for your new drama, may be you just need them to get over the loneliness. Or may be, you just want to be drunk, because when you’re drunk you’re always in the best mood of hurting yourself. It doesn’t matter if it is a small pocket knife or the glass from your broken wine bottle, as long as it brings blood to your wrists. And you find it funny how you’re panic, how you cry helplessly, how you try to cover all the cuts and when the blood finally decreases, you start to feel all  frustrated and desire for more pain.
It’s also funny how you always end up curling up in your bed with drained tears on your face and hurtful wrists full of red marks. Alone.
And you still have your tomorrow. A tomorrow with no differences.


***


You read about him and her. The news is everywhere you go, everytime you think. You know that the scandal means nothing to him, but at the same time you know that it means a lot to you, much more than you want to. You also know that they have been dating for a long time, you know that they share couple’ necklaces, you know that he loves her. After all, you think that you won’t be hurt when you see the tabloids, when you read the reports about the fact. But you also know that you are still hurt, that yesterday isn’t today, and today isn’t tomorrow. Despite the same tears and the same pain and the same loneliness, your days are as different as the differences between you and her : One is accepted and one is rejected by love. One is loved and one was loved. One is drown in happiness and one is drown in loneliness. And the biggest difference: She owns him, and you owns nothing.


***


Here you’re walking alone again. You can drive but the snow is blocking the way, and since you suddenly don’t have the mood to take the crowded train and be recognized by the annoying high school girls, you take your caps and hide your face in giant glasses. Or hide your swollen eyes and undying loneliness in the cover of a single man walking aimlessly in the December snow. It reminds you that it’s the last day of the year and you’re still alone. You know there are some invitations to parties with alcoholic drink and stripping girls, you know there are people who wait for you patiently to engulf you in the warmth of something called ‘family’ , you know there are couples kissing and holding each other, waiting for the daybreak. And you know that you can’t be at those places, whether you want to or not. You have to complete a promise, a long forgotten promise made by you and one special person before all those lonely nights hurting yourself, before all the tears and pain and loneliness.


***


You  arrives there when the night has fallen and the snow starts to decorate the fateful moment, people gathered at the centre of the city hands in hands with people they love, smiles and wishes are made, the fireworks are ready to blow the darkness with its beauty. Time seems to tick away seconds by seconds.


***



Meanwhile, you’re here. Alone. You watch the beach wavering silently, the cold breezes hugging your lone figure, and the snow melts with your tears as you remember at the same day last year, you were here with another person, praying and counting down for the magic moment, making an eternal promise to break in the next few days.



Hopefully, tomorrow is another day.




***


A/N: Please don’t kill me for torturing Kame +_____+ I’m hurt writing this as well, blame it on the M side of me!